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Fake Cat News

In a recent announcement, CatTronix Inc., a startup based in New York, has announced it is developing a user interface for computers that will make them more accessible to cats. “Why should cats be limited in their access to the internet,” said Miss Tulip, Founder and CEO of CatTronix. She spoke through an interpreter because of her limited ability in English. She added, “Cats have consistently been the victims of fake news stories going viral on the internet. Once cats have access to their own computers, they can begin to supress these demeaning stories and videos. What cat in his right mind would accept as true a video of a cat swimming, like this one I saw recently on YouTube, as factual? Clearly, posed filth like this has been posted only for human titillation and should be suppressed.”

CatTronixs founder and CEO Miss Tulip in her office

Miss Tulip said that computer interfaces were only the first hurdle. Cats are major consumers and the CatTronix Smart TV interface planned by the company will provide better television access for cats and, therefore, better access to cats by advertisers.

“Why do advertisers need to go through clueless intermediaries to access the cat market?” Miss Tulip said. “Wider use of the TV system by cats would allow better access to actual end users.” CatTronix plans to announce a KickStarter campaign to finance its efforts after the first of the year. -Matthew Brennesholtz

Matt also pointed out this cartoon about Garfield the cat.