Apple executives, delirious and malnourished from enforced spatial computing use, have come up with a new technology that promises to give the company its much sought after iPhone moment while guaranteeing future replace cycles, it is an edible display. A spokesman for the company said, “We will continue to innovate and if that means never being able to feel our faces again, so be it. We do this for Steve. And every little person at the company who fears that their stock options will be under water by the time they fully vest.”
The idea behind the display technology is simple, starting with Apple Watch, in 2025, all Apple displays will transition to an edible display technology called YLED (yum-yum light emitting diodes). The new displays use a backplane made from a highly pure form of crystalized sugar that emits pure white light, and YLEDs made of a phosphorous Oreo cookie material. Apple’s scientists found that when you reduce the molecular structure of Oreos to sub-micron levels, they become pure blue light emitters that can run on saliva.
“We twist the molecules of the Oreo YLEDs by passing a small current through them, the user can then just lick them, and they will work for at least five years without any need for another source of power,” says Apple’s new chief edibles office.
The company is also actively pursuing quantum dot technology based on leveraging the incredible, yet hitherto unknown, electroluminescence properties of Jelly Beans. Apple expects to be shipping its new edible displays by April 1, 2025/
